Newsletter #1 - Don’t Let the Summer Slip By
Kids only spend 9% of their time in school. But they can spend 100% of their time learning.
University of Minnesota
For children the teachings of their parents will always be the core.Pestalozzi
Summer arrives as a tasty package. Watermelons, peaches, apricots, and ice cream cones cheer it. Summer is lemonade and sandwiches. When my children were young, we used to have lunch under a grape arbor in our yard. I believe there was one summer that we did that almost every day. They still talk about that elegant lunch location. Walks in the summer should be required. Walks in neighborhoods and near by parks allow time for discovery and conversations. Summer is a good time for family sharing in family work. Such experiences teach belonging and promote a sense of competence. Consider a calendar for June, July, and August where the family carefully charts out "fun" moments. Trips to local gardens, parks, specialty bakeries, the zoo, the Farmer's Market will brighten a child's eyes. More importantly, such trips will stick in your memory. I would spend all summer avoiding anything that ran with a battery, was plugged in or needed a power pack.
A recent newspaper article stated that children are spending an average of 4 1/2 hours each day sitting in front of electronic screens in their homes absorbing television, games and computer programming. The proliferation of new media continues to transform the environment in American homes. I am reminded of Bill Moyers who said our children are being raised by appliances. I don't believe this flood of technology provides adequate skills for children who need to experience empathy, connecting with others, and the core values of respect, integrity, and responsibility. Someday, when your children are tall and planning their own calendars, as a parent you'll catch yourself wondering where did the time go? How did they get so tall? How did the time flash by? Catch moments like beads on a necklace. Celebrate this time without mittens and heavy jackets. This summer be an involved and connected parent. Children who spend time with their parents have higher grades, better school attendance, fewer placements in special education and more positive attitudes and behaviors. The family makes critical contributions to student achievement from early childhood through high school. Gently unwrap the lovely hours of summer 2005. Don't let it slip by.
Parent Question: We have two boys 6 and 8. My husband would like to buy them a PlayStation and a kid’s cell phone. How can I talk him out of this? I am concerned about too much technology.
Ada 's Response : Your question has many layers. I share your too much technology concern. However, I am not sure what too much is. My too much might be someone else's too little. Given the age of your children, I believe I would implement a teaching opportunity. Your children are the right age to practice decision making, learn money management, and develop at home leadership skills. Regular family meetings with clear agendas that include money management discussions and clarification of the “Anderson- or Sanchez or Smith Way" would establish time for necessary conversations about needs and wants. Allowances are to teach money management. Children today are not learning dollar and cents skills. They are being raised with a plastic card - charge it attitude. Allowances based on learning, not on chores done, teach spending, saving and item selection. Children eventually learn to save items they want. It is too quick and easy to buy stuff for our children ignoring the lesson opportunity.
In my book, Parenting on Purpose: Red Yellow Green Framework for Respectful Discipline I spend quite a bit of time on family meetings. I believe the "Anderson- Smith - _______Way" comprise the Red and Green guidelines for your family. Within those parameters, discussions about what is too much technology etc. could be clarified.
It is not unusual for parents to disagree. What is needed is time for parents to clarify needs and wants. We had important conversations about money and selective purchasing. Why does your husband feel your children need PlayStations and cell phones? Discussions about buying, spending, and saving are critical at the kitchen table. Developing these skills during the elementary years assures better decision making and problem solving during adolescence. Why Parents Disagree is a helpful book. Consumer Reports for Kids is a helpful magazine. I do know your children are the right age for family meetings. I do know having such discussions and regular meetings promotes communication, connection and a sense of belonging.
University of Minnesota
For children the teachings of their parents will always be the core.Pestalozzi
Summer arrives as a tasty package. Watermelons, peaches, apricots, and ice cream cones cheer it. Summer is lemonade and sandwiches. When my children were young, we used to have lunch under a grape arbor in our yard. I believe there was one summer that we did that almost every day. They still talk about that elegant lunch location. Walks in the summer should be required. Walks in neighborhoods and near by parks allow time for discovery and conversations. Summer is a good time for family sharing in family work. Such experiences teach belonging and promote a sense of competence. Consider a calendar for June, July, and August where the family carefully charts out "fun" moments. Trips to local gardens, parks, specialty bakeries, the zoo, the Farmer's Market will brighten a child's eyes. More importantly, such trips will stick in your memory. I would spend all summer avoiding anything that ran with a battery, was plugged in or needed a power pack.
A recent newspaper article stated that children are spending an average of 4 1/2 hours each day sitting in front of electronic screens in their homes absorbing television, games and computer programming. The proliferation of new media continues to transform the environment in American homes. I am reminded of Bill Moyers who said our children are being raised by appliances. I don't believe this flood of technology provides adequate skills for children who need to experience empathy, connecting with others, and the core values of respect, integrity, and responsibility. Someday, when your children are tall and planning their own calendars, as a parent you'll catch yourself wondering where did the time go? How did they get so tall? How did the time flash by? Catch moments like beads on a necklace. Celebrate this time without mittens and heavy jackets. This summer be an involved and connected parent. Children who spend time with their parents have higher grades, better school attendance, fewer placements in special education and more positive attitudes and behaviors. The family makes critical contributions to student achievement from early childhood through high school. Gently unwrap the lovely hours of summer 2005. Don't let it slip by.
Parent Question: We have two boys 6 and 8. My husband would like to buy them a PlayStation and a kid’s cell phone. How can I talk him out of this? I am concerned about too much technology.
Ada 's Response : Your question has many layers. I share your too much technology concern. However, I am not sure what too much is. My too much might be someone else's too little. Given the age of your children, I believe I would implement a teaching opportunity. Your children are the right age to practice decision making, learn money management, and develop at home leadership skills. Regular family meetings with clear agendas that include money management discussions and clarification of the “Anderson- or Sanchez or Smith Way" would establish time for necessary conversations about needs and wants. Allowances are to teach money management. Children today are not learning dollar and cents skills. They are being raised with a plastic card - charge it attitude. Allowances based on learning, not on chores done, teach spending, saving and item selection. Children eventually learn to save items they want. It is too quick and easy to buy stuff for our children ignoring the lesson opportunity.
In my book, Parenting on Purpose: Red Yellow Green Framework for Respectful Discipline I spend quite a bit of time on family meetings. I believe the "Anderson- Smith - _______Way" comprise the Red and Green guidelines for your family. Within those parameters, discussions about what is too much technology etc. could be clarified.
It is not unusual for parents to disagree. What is needed is time for parents to clarify needs and wants. We had important conversations about money and selective purchasing. Why does your husband feel your children need PlayStations and cell phones? Discussions about buying, spending, and saving are critical at the kitchen table. Developing these skills during the elementary years assures better decision making and problem solving during adolescence. Why Parents Disagree is a helpful book. Consumer Reports for Kids is a helpful magazine. I do know your children are the right age for family meetings. I do know having such discussions and regular meetings promotes communication, connection and a sense of belonging.
