Home Is Where The Learning Begins
Last month, I taught a parenting session for staff at a local college. As parents they were concerned that their own children might exhibit the behavior they were observing in the freshman class at their work site. College students appeared ill equipped for the decision-making, self-discipline or self-responsibility skills necessary to succeed on the college campus. The staff are keen observers and wanted parenting suggestions so that their own children would be better equipped for academic success when they were college bound.
Farm families have always known the importance of everyone of all ages helping out. Life lessons and skills are learned everyday. We need to move that learning into our city lives. Being responsible gives a child a sense of pride. Providing opportunities to be helpful is part of a parent’s job description. Giving children chores or household tasks provides the ways, means, and virtues of behaving responsibly.
Between the ages of two and three, children can pick up their toys. They will still need help and reminders but establishing a regular toy pick up time helps them learn about routines. Perhaps just before dinner parents and children can sing a clean up song while together they did the family work. Good childcare centers have done this for years.
Between ages three and four, children can undress and dress themselves with a little help. Having children select their own clothes helps develop a sense of I am capable. It is often fun to have the child wear a sign that says, “I dressed myself!” This also diminishes confusion experienced by other adults when the two year old always wears the ballet dress. Assisting in the kitchen is important and fun. Not only is responsibility developed, children learn nutritional facts. They can put the napkins on the table, put vegetables into a salad or stir ingredients in the bowl.
Between ages four and five, children can bring in the mail or the paper. They can practice self-care by brushing their teeth, using soap and water, and brushing their hair. Getting up to an alarm clock, putting clothes in the laundry and returning clean clothes to correct drawers all provide a sense of accomplishment. Children also like spreading peanut butter on bread, assisting in making tacos, and adding ingredients to the hot dish. Building on these skills as children age is smart family management. It is helpful to create a schedule of chores that all family members perform creating a system that includes chore rotation with everyone contributing to well being of the family. Everyone matters is the message that matters.
I wonder if those first year college students had parents who did not expect them to do chores and did too much for them? I wonder if those college students had parents who did not enforce rules and let the children run the household? Jean Clarke teaches that chores are the grist from which character and confidence are built. Both of my daughters did well in college. They also are skilled with vacuum cleaners, mops, dust clothes and snow shovels. They know how to care for tackle boxes, wax skis and change tires. Home is where the learning begins.
Farm families have always known the importance of everyone of all ages helping out. Life lessons and skills are learned everyday. We need to move that learning into our city lives. Being responsible gives a child a sense of pride. Providing opportunities to be helpful is part of a parent’s job description. Giving children chores or household tasks provides the ways, means, and virtues of behaving responsibly.
Between the ages of two and three, children can pick up their toys. They will still need help and reminders but establishing a regular toy pick up time helps them learn about routines. Perhaps just before dinner parents and children can sing a clean up song while together they did the family work. Good childcare centers have done this for years.
Between ages three and four, children can undress and dress themselves with a little help. Having children select their own clothes helps develop a sense of I am capable. It is often fun to have the child wear a sign that says, “I dressed myself!” This also diminishes confusion experienced by other adults when the two year old always wears the ballet dress. Assisting in the kitchen is important and fun. Not only is responsibility developed, children learn nutritional facts. They can put the napkins on the table, put vegetables into a salad or stir ingredients in the bowl.
Between ages four and five, children can bring in the mail or the paper. They can practice self-care by brushing their teeth, using soap and water, and brushing their hair. Getting up to an alarm clock, putting clothes in the laundry and returning clean clothes to correct drawers all provide a sense of accomplishment. Children also like spreading peanut butter on bread, assisting in making tacos, and adding ingredients to the hot dish. Building on these skills as children age is smart family management. It is helpful to create a schedule of chores that all family members perform creating a system that includes chore rotation with everyone contributing to well being of the family. Everyone matters is the message that matters.
I wonder if those first year college students had parents who did not expect them to do chores and did too much for them? I wonder if those college students had parents who did not enforce rules and let the children run the household? Jean Clarke teaches that chores are the grist from which character and confidence are built. Both of my daughters did well in college. They also are skilled with vacuum cleaners, mops, dust clothes and snow shovels. They know how to care for tackle boxes, wax skis and change tires. Home is where the learning begins.
posted by Ada at
7:34 AM
